Things I dont like. Oh, dear - how do I condense this lot down!? You'll find that I've got an opinion about everything and anything that goes on, even if I'm not consistent about it, give me 10 for effort! (Otherwise known as Room 101)

Channel 5

Do they not know that the kitsch, crap look is out? Oh, it's not meant to be like that?? I wish I was lucky enough to be one of those people who get to see the interference instead - much more intellectually stimulating! But really, you'd think, what with men on the moon 30 years ago, and the technological revolution we're in the middle of that Channel 5 would manage more than 70% of Britain!
It's dumbed down Britain gone mad - I really hate being patronised, yet C5 patronise anyone with more than the 3 functioning brain cells like it's going out of fashion...
You want to know why I really hate them? They cut hour-long episodes of Knightrider down to less than half an hour!

Rude People

Working where I've done in the past, I've seen an amazing amount of morose, stupid, self-absorbed people from all walks of life. If I have no more chips/Champagne/Pampers Maxi 52, then why is it that I have suddenly shot JFK?? Some people have no consideration for the fact that their waiter, or whoever, isn't superhuman and doesn't have the ability to magic up things that aren't there. Geddit? It pisses me off no end!

Lack of manners

Is is really hard to teach our children a little please and thank you? I'm no-one's slave, but if you ask me politely, I'll be only too please to try and help you.
And people who push past without saying "excuse me please" !? Anarchy starts with the simplest of things, and a little politesse is nothing much to ask for!

Mobile Phones

Yes - I H8 TXT MSGS
The Mobile revolution has spawned an army of little bratty 10-year olds who spend their every waking hour sending people text messages that cost 10p to tell them they're going to the toilet. We've all seen them - if you're one of them, you should hang your head in shame. No wonder we can't commuicate with one another any more when we have to rely on such impersonal forms as emails, telephones and mobiles, the 21st century scourge of society...


People who don't like Anne Robinson or the Weakest Link

I've spent my every waking hour trying to defend this woman, and I think it worries my nearest and dearest quite considerably.
Annie is a babe. I've been to London to see her, and she really isn't as nasty as everyone seems to think. Why do we need such a prominent outlet for public hate!? She's a very funny, witty lady. If you were paid £30,000 a show to be nasty, wouldn't YOU try your best!? What is so wrong with insulting people, anyway? It isn't illegal. And before you complain about the terrible salary, "Bill Gates," "Michael Schumacher," and any other executive of a large corporation you care to mention.
The Weakest Link is comedy at its funniest. I wet myself every time I watch it - it's just TOO funny!!
So, you might say she has gone to America, and she should stay there, but what a travesty that would be. She is just as much an English institution as Crumpets, Tea, and Eastenders.


Nasty People

Some people just seem to go round looking for trouble, provoking people, and being generally nasty - they should all be thrown viciously into room 101.
People should all be happy, and skip around singing S Club 7 songs until the Weakest Link comes on.
You see them everywhere...but mostly on the buses, or hanging around street corners. They are generally teenagers in groups, or drunken old men who smell. Either way, they are a danger to society, and need to be taught some manners. Manners are another hot topic - people just dont seem to be as kind as they used to be. I went out for lunch the other day, and an old lady came and asked if she could take a chair for her table. She was stood there trying to hump this big chair across the room, and nobody offered her any assistance. We take this live-and-let-live philosophy as little too far, methinks! Needless to say, being the gentleman that I am, I was on hand to help with the humping.


Public Transport

Buses are crap, trains are useless, and everything smells. I have been late for school dozens of times due to the incompetence of the bus system - there are 'No Smoking' signs up all over the place, and still I come home reeking.
Sods Law, section 4, sub section 3, paragraph 12, 'One must wait for a bus for 20 minutes, until 2 come along at once.' This is the absolute truth. Why? Who knows? If you do have the luck to get a bus that arrives on time, then it's invariably full, and drives straight past you, or you have to sit in the baggage rack with a pot plant and ironing board.
Trying to work out the human Genome structure would be less complex than trying to organise a train journey in Britain. Where else would the humble leaf disrupt services so? Reading the obsolete timetable from 1978 would be better suited to a military strategist, and even then, you'll probably end up 300 miles off course in the Home Counties. Kiss is the philosophy the train companies should be using (and thats another thing - why authoritIES? Why can't we just have one to take all the blame?!) Keep It Simple, Stupid. Quite.


Linguistic Morons

"You don't talk properly," "That's not good English." These phrases piss me off SO much!! Why is it, that because people dont talk the same as someone else, that it is seen as inadequate, or even wrong!? Apparently, saying "wa'er" instead of "water" is slovenly. Yes, if you happen to be an old-fashioned sort with a chip on ones shoulder. The Americans have not wrecked English - in fact, they dont even speak it - they speak American, which is what Linguistics would call a Pidgin of English. They have adapted our language from 300 years ago to suit their needs because we happen to have had quite a similar background in terms of major historical events and new developments in science and technology, our languages have followed a close path.
Language does not tolerate any extra baggage, although at the same time, it hates having gaps. With new-fangled technologies such as Computers and the Internet, new words have had to be created, and using these words is not bad English - what else should we use!? It was the same when the car, or the camera were invented, I'm sure.
To criticise someone's genuine use of the English language is rather dim-witted and narrow-minded, and it does my head in!